CHINA VIRUS NOT BAT FLU SHOCK

Dear Bat in the Belfry, How are you? I am well. So, you’ll never believe this...

Hell just woke up to the latest headline from her favourite newspaper screaming:

EXCLUSIVE: COVID-19 ‘has NO credible natural ancestor’ and WAS created by Chinese scientists who then tried to cover their tracks with ‘retro-engineering’ to make it seem like it naturally arose from bats, explosive new study claims

‘Well, blow me down with a feather,’ she started to type - before googling the world’s tiniest which belongs to a newly hatched bee hummingbird.

The headline was a win for anyone who’s spent the last year squinting at ‘misinformation’ thinking ‘looks like plain old information to me!’ And she wouldn’t feel quite so disturbed if saying ‘if that virus came out of a wet market, I’m a mashed-up pangolin’ hadn’t gone down quite so badly with pretty much everyone she knew in real life.

Other shocks - which are coming but may not ever make it to the banner - include:

MASKS DON’T WORK.

‘THE SCIENCE’ WAS MOSTLY MADE UP OFF THE HOOF BY A MAN WHOSE MODELS MURDERED SIX MILLION COWS.

PROFESSOR SUNETRA GUPTA IS A LEGEND FOR SPEAKING HER TR— EPIDEMIOLOGY IN THE FACE OF BASTARDS.

Personally, while I apologise to bats for having doubted them for a single second, the bat community must be relieved that so many - privately - didn’t. There was - in Britain - no blood lust leading to the mass extermination of batkind whereas in Denmark (where ‘the science’ seems to have dictated the virus was endemic in mink) the government massacred 17 million of the little furballs before exhuming four million from mass graves and incinerating the corpses ‘to prevent pollution’.

Otherwise, it’s been a very depressing week…

One of Hell’s heroes turned up at that select committee she was so looking forward to and said this:

From the point of view of overall human civilisation, how could we have done better? I think it’s unarguable – unarguable – what should have happened. The companies doing mRNA vaccines basically created the vaccine itself in literally hours in January. Hours. What should have happened is that governments like America and us should have gone to those companies and said, “Right, we’re gonna take your idea, we’re now going to have what’s called Human Challenge Trials. We will pay, you know, 5,000, 10,000 people, and we’ll pay you to be injected with Covid, and then you’ll have some kind of control system where you’re injected with Covid, some of you get this vaccine, some of you don’t get this vaccine, and then everyone takes their chances, and then, you know, if you die, your family will get a million quid” whatever, something like that. That would obviously have been the best thing to do… Imagine if we have another thing like this… We have to be able to have a system… We’ve got to have a system in place where we go: “Holy Lord, new ebola thing. Right, mRNA companies. Pfizer. Where’s the vaccine? Right. 10,000 people. What’s the price that it pays?”

From the point of view of human civilisation, I’d argue this isn’t the least bit unarguable... Speaking for myself, I don’t want to live in a world where poor unfortunates can be scooped up by drug companies to take part in a state-sponsored reboot of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Also, if ‘human civilisation’ is the purpose of vaccines (which I’d have heartily agreed with up to this point) why aren’t ‘ours’ now given to the old and vulnerable (who desperately need them in places where the health systems that are in no condition to save their lives) rather than reserved for all those in our country who don’t need them - as our freedom to go anywhere without a mask (which doesn’t protect anyone, anyway) is withheld until they do?

Asking questions doesn’t make you a conspiracy theorist - especially now that ‘IT’S A CHINA VIRUS NOT THE BAT FLU’ can’t be dismissed as a conspiracy theory any longer.